


Heart, Not Head

by estriel



Series: Inktober Insanity 2019 [1]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Locker Room, M/M, Romance, Toronto Cricket Skating and Curling Club, Wedding Banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 20:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20841824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: A locker room encounter, a ring, and two idiots who generally think too much, or not enough.Set during Javi's stay at TCC during September 2019.





	Heart, Not Head

**Author's Note:**

> Here comes another month of madness. In October, I shall be (ab)using the official [Inktober 2019](https://inktober.com/rules) prompt list to write daily Yuzuvier fics. I'll be posting all of the stories under this series here on AO3. 
> 
> Prompt for today was: _ring_

Yuzu’s breath still catches every time he walks into a locker room and finds Javi there. Now that he is accustomed to Javi not being there, it is like a sparkling surprise to see his familiar shape in his usual spot, pulling his skates on or off, depending on what schedule they both are on.

Today is no exception. Yuzu opens the door and there he is, sitting on the bench, skates discarded on the floor, socked feet on top of the boots, toes curling and uncurling as Javi tries to get his circulation going again.

Yuzu smiles, warmth washing over him once again. It’s good to have Javi back.

“Hi, Javi,” he greets as he steps in, maneuvering his rolling suitcase through the door.

Something is different today, Yuzu notices immediately.

“Hey,” Javi responds, and looks up. The usual cheer is lacking from his voice, and his face. It’s not just general weariness, either, nor the taciturn tension Javi is prone to before competition. He cracks a weak smile for Yuzu’s benefit, but his eyes are not smiling along. They are like clouds before a storm, Yuzu notes, something somber roiling inside them.

Yuzu sits down at his spot, wondering what is happening, what to say, how to cheer Javi up, if he even can… When he looks up again a moment later, Javi is still looking at him, a small frown between his brows, his mouth tight, his fingers restless as he tosses a small box from one hand to another, then back, again and again.

“Is something wrong?” Yuzu asks, and raises a hand to his face automatically, checking if there’s maybe stuck on his lip, because Javi’s gaze has just caught there… There’s nothing. “Are you okay, Javi?” 

Javi blinks, clearly torn out of his line of thought. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.” He attempts another smile, but it’s more of an awkward grimace.

“Don’t think too much,” Yuzu reminds him, and begins changing from his warm-up clothes into his on-ice gear, folding his t-shirt carefully once he pulls it off. “Thinking is not good,” he says, taps his forehead, then his chest –  _ heart, not head _ , the way Brian always tells them. He shucks his track pants, folds them, starts pulling on his skating ones.

There’s a clatter from the other side of the locker room. Javi’s small box has fallen out of his hands and tumbled across the floor. Yuzu steps forward to pick it up.

It’s a ring box. Yuzu stares at it, the navy velvet fabric, the dainty silver clasp. Something inside his chest constricts painfully.

“Javi – “ he grinds out, his eyes flying up to Javi’s. He should not be so surprised, it’s not like it’s that shocking. Javi has been in a relationship for a while, and well, Javi is the kind of guy to want this sort of thing – marriage and all that…

It’s just… Yuzu has never really imagined it actually happening. Not when his heart is still gaping open like this, laid out for Javi to take or trample. Here he is, still, with that same wild hope he has been harboring for a couple of years, just waiting for the right moment to say something, act on the undeniable tangle of complicated feelings that he had thought Javi shared, despite everything…

But he had never dared, always thinking that it was too risky, that he might lose Javi’s friendship, that he had time. And now here he is, and his heart is shattering.

Yuzu is not sure what to say, or what to do, feeling dumb and standing there awkwardly in front of Javi with the damn engagement ring Javi has bought for his girlfriend in his hand.

Javi catches his wrist instead of taking the box. “Have you ever wondered,” he starts, and the storm Yuzu had seen brewing now strikes, making Javi’s eyes wild, and searing, and intense. His pulse jumps under Javi’s fingers. “Have you ever wondered if we have maybe missed every chance at – “ Javi gestures between them with his free hand. “ – at having something… else? More?” Javi bites his lip, and Yuzu can see his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows.

“Every day,” he admits, quiet and helpless, angry at himself, outraged by his own cowardice. “Every day, Javi.”

Javi lets go of his wrist, and Yuzu feels the tears well up in his eyes. It feels so final, Javi letting go of something they had never even had in the first place.

Javi takes the box from him, holds it for a moment. Yuzu stares at his hands as he cradles it, his broad palms and strong fingers. How would they feel on his skin, he wonders masochistically. Now he’ll never know.

Then Javi grasps the box in his right hand, and tosses it back in the general direction of his bag.

Yuzu inhales sharply, eyes snapping up back to Javi’s face.

“Do you think we can give it another one?” Javi asks, voice weak but so painfully hopeful that Yuzu feels it to the core of his being, to the marrow of his bones.

_ What? _ , he wants to ask, but instead just gapes at Javi blankly.

“Another chance. I mean,” Javi goes on, and his fingers are back, seeking out Yuzu’s, pressing their palms together. He gives Yuzu’s hand a squeeze. “Please say it’s not too late,” he whispers and lifts their joined hands to press his lips softly against Yuzu’s knuckles. “Please think about it?”

Yuzu blinks, tears spilling as he does so. “Thinking is not good,” he mumbles, more to himself than to Javi. And then he leans in, and brushes his mouth against Javi’s, the way he’s wanted to for longer than he cares to admit.

Javi’s breath of relief tickles Yuzu’s lips, and then Javi is stepping in closer, wrapping his arm around Yuzu, palm flat at the small of his back, burning on his bare skin.  _ This is how it feels _ , Yuzu muses briefly, but then he stops, and lets himself drown in the sensations – Javi’s stubble against his jaw, the surprising softness of his lips, the heat of his tongue when Yuzu opens his mouth for him, welcoming him home.

It’s heady, and desperate, and uncoordinated, the way their teeth clash, the way their noses bump. It is also the best thing in the world, the way Javi moans into the split-second in between kisses,  _ Oh, Yuzu _ , and slides his fingers into Yuzu’s hair to kiss him thoroughly, completely.

Eventually, Javi lets him go, and his eyes are sparkling, bright like a summer afternoon.

“Thinking is good sometimes,” Javi laughs breathlessly. When Yuzu lifts his eyebrows, dubious, Javi flicks his eyes towards his bag, and the ring that probably landed somewhere in there. “I’m so happy I thought twice,” he says and grins, cupping Yuzu’s face in his hands, wiping at the wet trails on Yuzu’s cheeks with his thumbs. 

Yuzu smiles, feeling light, and warm, and so happy he thinks he might burst.

“Next time I think about giving someone a ring,” Javi goes on, and Yuzu  _ thinks _ he sees the joke coming,  _ thinks _ he recognizes the teasing twinkle in Javi’s eye. But then Javi finishes. “I will ask you first,” and he kisses Yuzu’s hand again, butterfly soft against Yuzu’s left ring-finger.

That is when Yuzu decides that  _ thinking _ really isn’t helpful.  _ Heart, not head _ , he reminds himself… and kisses Javi again. 


End file.
